


Big Brother

by Avanalae



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Minor Character Death, Pregnancy, T for angst, because wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 04:19:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11798241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avanalae/pseuds/Avanalae
Summary: Tim visits Dana in the hospital. A quick look at her records reveal a fact that makes his head reel. But his happiness is not meant to last.





	Big Brother

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted December 2013.

Really, if they didn’t want anyone who may come into a patient’s room to read the things, they wouldn’t place them at the end of the bed.

Tim justifies it like this in his mind as he examines Dana’s medical report.

There’s been a change though and Tim stares at the list of chemicals and supplements in a heart-wrenching mix of glee and despair.

He places the clipboard back in its place, in the exact position it was before he picked it up.

And he collapses into the chair at Dana’s bedside.

He holds her unresponsive hand until visitor hours are over.

_

He finds himself a bit distracted for a few days afterward, his mind having trouble coming to terms with the knowledge of Dana’s pregnancy.

He had thought about it, years ago, when he was still naive. About what it would be like to be an older brother. How it would feel to have a younger girl or boy to play with, to teach, to protect, and to love.

Those dreams had been crushed when he finally gathered the courage to ask Mother about it. She had raised an eyebrow and said, “Why would I want more children? I already have an heir, I don’t need more trouble.”

Tim had nodded and fled as quickly as he could without seeming impolite.

So Tim had stopped thinking about it.

But this… With this, all those thoughts and dreams started coming back, and it was overwhelming.

It doesn’t matter that they would only be a half-sibling. It doesn’t matter if they’re a girl or a boy or whatever.

All he knows is that he’s going to be a big brother.

_

Tim’s never felt like he really belonged in the manor. It is a large place, familiar only in that aspect. Unlike his own home, this one is filled with people.

People who live there; who make the large, imposing structure a home instead of a prison.

There is noise: laughter, talking, shouting, arguments, happiness, sadness, and so much more.

There are smells; tastes; feelings; and so much more.

He wasn’t used to any of these things. And the attempts to integrate him either never happened or were only marginally successful.

He just didn’t belong.

Tim didn’t belong anywhere.

But maybe… Just maybe…

He could find a place with Dana and her child – his sibling.

Maybe, just once, he could belong.

_

Tim keeps it a secret, making sure no one knows what he does in his free time.

That they don’t know he goes to the library and reads in a corner, hiding the book about sibling relationships with another text (he dare not check it out lest his family decides to suddenly check on what he’s been doing).

He plans and prepares and studies.

He goes to visit Dana at least once a week and spends several hours just talking to her and to the child. Sometimes she’s awake, and they talk about little things, none of which include the baby (she hasn’t told him yet, and he will wait for her – wait for her to get better).

He’s the happiest he’s been in  _years_.

He should have known it couldn’t last.

_

When he hears the news, at first he denies it. But when he stares at the truth, he shuts down.

He breaks once again.

Again.

His happiness shatters, falling down the pits of his mind like broken glass.

And he stops.

Everything seems to stop, even though he knows logically that it hasn’t.

Tim doesn’t tell anyone. What would be the point?

There’s no point in telling them that not just one person close to him died that day.

What could he possibly achieve by telling them about how he was almost a big brother?

Nothing.

So he keeps silent.

He never thinks about what kind of brother he would have been. What it would have been like to hold them, to treasure them.

He keeps  _Hope_  locked away forever in his mind. A memory of a little sibling that never got to live.

And  _Hope_  stays silent, hidden away in the deepest pit in Tim’s heart.


End file.
